Early this morning, (July 16th 9:35 am) my ex common-law husband, father of my son, left his body. For those that loved him, there was a feeling of relief because he was in so much pain for so long. There also was a deep sense of gratitude for me because spending some time with him near the end showed me that any resentment I may have had was washed away, not only for me but for him as well. Through hugs, kisses, hand holding and laughter anything that wasn’t love; left us, it was palpable.
As I sit here and write about what I am feeling, it’s an interesting sensation to know that I will never see him with my eyes again, I will never hug him again or hear his voice. There are tears running down my face and I realize the attachment this human experience can have to other people. I loved it when Edy and I hugged, he used to do this ‘humming’ thing that had an amazing love energy to it.
Another interesting phenomenon, is that I can’t bring up any anger that I used to have or I can’t remember anything he did that caused me pain. I know stuff happened but just like after giving birth, I can’t remember the pain only divine love.
Dying; as I’m told, is simply a transition for the soul leaving, their time here is complete and they move on. However, it’s not mentioned enough, the transition those that loved them go through.
The lessons I have learned since his diagnosis and the months following are huge, I’m still assimilating it all.
I’m so grateful for Edward. Not just for our beautiful son, but for all the wisdom he imparted. Edward had a huge heart and wanted to see the population wake up to their divinity. It wasn’t always done in a soft loving way, because Edy would feel what others were feeling and mirrored back their ‘stuff’, which made Edy the brunt of allot of anger, however it was sometimes enlightening for those who wanted to see the truth.
Edward loved his children very much, he wanted more for his kids than he ever received in his life and it was his mission to impart everything he learned in life onto his children. I’m happy to say he did just that. His kids are amazing people, and I am thrilled to know them and be part of their lives.
Some of the things I learned from Edy were things like, children are bright from the moment they are born, therefore speak to them as such. I also learned that our words are energy too, and the mind is extremely powerful. So, I never told Raj (my son) “don’t fall” I told him to ‘be mindful’. Edy taught me to see the kids as people, not children. My son and I have a very close relationship because I relate to him as a person, on his own path and he is intelligent and capable to make his own decisions and equally capable to learn from his mistakes.
Thank-you Edy for pursuing me back in 2001, I am thrilled we loved each other and created an magnificent person together.
With deep gratitude, I remember that death is not an ending, it’s a beginning for all involved. Edy will definitely be missed and he will be remembered with much love & laughter.